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The Condiment Queen by Becca Dextraze

Story by Becca Dextraze | Illustration by Brittany Nelson


I am the Condiment Queen. I love mustard. I love mayonnaise. But most of all I love ketchup.

One Saturday morning, as usual, my father asked me if I would like to go to Tim Horton’s for breakfast. Immediately my mind traveled to the past visits we had to Timmy’s.

We would walk in, order two sausage breakfast sandwiches, a medium black coffee and a small ice cap. Occasionally we order a hash brown or two and lots of ketchup. We collect the food and sit down in my favorite section in the coffee shop. My father will take a few packages of ketchup from me before I use them all. I apply a packet of ketchup to every layer in the sandwich and place a bit of ketchup on the napkin to dip into. By this time my father is already half finished his sandwich. It is not that he is a fast eater, I am just quite slow in preparing mine. I begin to eat. All too soon all the ketchup is gone. I smile at dad and he smiles back knowingly as I stand up and take a few steps toward the pick up counter.

The reason I have a favorite section in the shop is because it is so close to the counter. I stand there till one of the employees notice me and ask me what I would like. I ask them for about five more ketchups.

Usually I don’t have to do so because on Saturdays our favorite employee is there, Elaine. When she sees me at the counter she immediately goes to the ketchup stash located at the sandwich table and brings me a good 10 ketchup. Finally, after my father begins commenting on how we should be leaving, I finish, dispose of the garbage and wave at Elaine.

My mind returned to the present. I smiled at my dad and said we should take Elise. I thought about how there never really seemed to be enough ketchup as I was getting ready to leave. And then it came to me.

I ran down the stairs past my dad and opened the fridge. And there it was. Shining, beautifully full to the brim and radiating joy. I reached in and carefully took it out. I was going to bring my own bottle of ketchup so there wouldn’t be any need to get up and ask for more.

My father notices the bottle once we are in the truck and laughs his deep, contagious laugh. Elise and I join in. We reach Timmy’s and order the usual. Elaine spots me and the ketchup bottle and begins to laugh. We go sit at our table and find Uncle David and his boss at the table next to us. He also begins to tease me when he sees what I have brought. For the first time in all my history with Tim Horton’s there was enough ketchup on my beloved breakfast sandwich. Still Elaine teases me about it and Uncle David too.

Rebecca “Joe” Dextraze (story) resides in The Awesome Town, more commonly known as Wetaskiwin. She is thirteen and in grade 8 with the School Of Hope CyberSchool. She dances at DanceFX (aka the most amazing dance studio on earth), and wrote this epic story in grade 7. She was born on an island, Grand Cayman, and likes pickles. Consequently, she is one of the most amazing children on earth.

Brittany Nelson (illustration) is an aspiring artist slash massage therapist slash banker living in Wetaskiwin, Alberta.

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A Night Out in the Wonk with WONK (but feel free to bring another date).

The time to stop talking and to start doing  is finally upon us. Because we recognize this, WONK has been hard at work putting out WONK6, which features great work from a number of writers and illustrators. The theme was loosely based around children’s literature and our contributors blew away our expectations, turning us in directions we never, well, expected. In fact, W6 might be one of the most diverse issues yet, filled with poems by Lyle Weis and Annie Polushin, short fiction by Cindy Dextraze, a graphic novel excerpt from Gail Sidonie Sobat and (illustrated by) Spyder Yardley-Jones, and beautiful cover art from Teresa Sturby. Although themes can sometimes create boundaries, it seems as though none of our contributors noticed  and WONK6 has reaped the benefit. As usual, the new WONK is available (for free) in the Wetaskiwin Library, for free as an online subscription or, for a very small cost, mailed right to your door. To do either of the latter, simply click here.

Also in the spirit of “doing stuff”, and besides getting WONK6 out, we are working on a couple of other things. The first of these might seem rather predictable given that our last effort was called WONK6. You guessed it, our next big thing is… WONK7. But that’s not all; along with the release of W7, WONK is hosting  an evening of poetry with Glen Sorestad and Jenna Butler at Wetaskiwin’s (licensed) Pipestone Food Company. Since we aren’t completely accustomed to doing things, the idea of doing three things (and two at the same time!) is a little frightening. That said, we are going to do our something anyway and we think (based completely on gut feelings and the fact that Glen Sorestad and Jenna Butler are on board) that our something must be pretty cool.

We promise to get more information out soon regarding this event, but, for now, the basic details will have to suffice (thank goodness those same details are on a mighty fine poster). We hope to see you there!

UPDATE: Here’s the link for the official event on Facebook!

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we’re sorry. we make no apologies

despite what may seem an elaborate literary scheme, we have not embezzled your dollars and gone on a fancy summer vacation. (disclaimer- we did go to bashaw.) we have simply been enjoying our summer and sadly it has been at the expense of your reading pleasure. (we are secretly hoping that you take a summer reading hiatus like we do.)

we are sorry. however, we are back at it and hope to be caught up on all our correspondence soon. we owe issues to contributors and readers alike. we assure you that those who paid for 12 issues will receive 12 issues. it won’t be within the previous 1 year timeline (we realize now that was a bit ambitious for procrastinators like us) but there will be 12.

with that said, we are working on issue 6. our dream is to have it out by the 10th of september. why?

wetaskiwin is having it’s first arts and agriculture festival on the 11th and we at WONK would like to have a new issue to distribute. we are hoping to snag some local readers and writers. in turn, the rest of our loyal followers will finally receive the much anticipated next issue. it’s a win/win situation!

if you don’t want to wait for issue 6 to show up in your mailbox (be it the one on your house or the one in your computer) then we we cordially invite you down to wetaskiwin on september 11th. we will be there with your personal copy and an anxious smile. maybe even a t-shirt… oh the promises… we foresee so many more apologies…

isn’t this fun?!

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WONK5 Seeks Roommate Who Likes to Read

WONK5, after an arduous journey from the contributors’ pens to the eager hands of WONK editors, is now only one step away  from its new home. Some of the WONK5 progeny now sit in the Wetaskiwin library and others are being prepared (with a bonus addition) for mailing to subscribers and contributors. The only remaining step required to completely fulfill WONK5’s destiny is for you to go pick one up (or, for subscribers, to just sit and check the mail every couple of days to see if it’s there yet).

And, while you are sitting either waiting for the mail or basking in the after-glow of having just read WONK5, you might just think about picking up your own pen and finishing off that poem/story/drawing/moustache on your cat – that has been nagging at you – and sending it to us for WONK6. In fact, for this instalment, you don’t even need to type your submission (one less thing, right?). One of the themes that is gaining headway for WONK6 focuses on handwritten originals (scanned and emailed or real-mailed). With that in mind, it might just be time to brush off your pen to see if it still works. Other themes that are trailing, but only slightly, are letters (any type you can think of: correspondence, abcd, etc) and children’s literature. Of course, themes can only take you/us so far, so don’t feel too hemmed in by ours.

WONK